Let’s face it – you don’t have to be pretty to be a rapper.  Since I have claimed the ever so sexy Drake as hip hop’s next messiah, I thought a shout out to those emcees who may be less than pretty was well deserved.  My top 10 ugly emcee list is behind the cut.


1.  Craig Mack

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One of the most notoriously ugly emcees out there, Craig Mack is most known by the classic ‘Flava in Ya Ear’ track with Bad Boy in the early 90s… and then falling the fuck off.




2. Biz Markie

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Biz Markie reminds me of this dope ass skateboarder I know, Maddie… Maddie is an English Bulldog.






3. Birdman

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I think if I were to see Birdman at say, 7-11, I’d probably think that he was a hardened criminal who had his face broken in vicious jail brawls instead of Weezy kissing, bird call producing rap star.




5. Weezy

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I have to admit, I had a mini crush on Lil Wayne when it was trendy.  The face tattoos and the Muppet face.. not so much.






6. Flava Flav

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Flav’s FIFTY years old.  Why does he look like he’s 75 and completely bat shit senile?





7. Krondon

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I’m really not trying to hate albinos, I promise… But this dude’s reminds me of a cross between Jay-Z and the monsters from “The Descent.”





8. Fat Joe

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If I ever met Fat Joe, I’d bring him a salad.  I wonder if he stays large so he doesn’t have to change his name.  Somehow, Skinny Joe just doesn’t sound right.  I’m not trying to hate on the large man (I have love for you!), but Joe has always reminded me of that dude that you see at Country Buffet who can’t stay away from the vat of mac & cheese.





9. Prodigy

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I’ve actually had the “pleasure” of meeting this dude and he was one of the biggest assholes I’ve ever come across.  His face reminds me of this crackhead that frequents my corner store and typically gets super upset if I have no change to give him.





10. Vinnie Paz

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Somehow, whenever I see Vinnie, I think about the Marshmallow Man from Ghostbusters.





HONORABLE MENTIONS :: Aesop Rock, Bushwick Bill, the entire WuTangClan (minus Meth – dude looks good), Busta Rhymes post 2000s (did dude swallow a basketball or…?), most of the Anticon camp, especially Sage Francis.



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